Dear Diary...HELP

Dear Diary,

Today has to be one of the most confusing days I have ever had. It can only be described as the best, and the worst day of my life. I have had 2 dreams my entire life, to be happy and have a family of my own, and to get out of this state. Now I have been very independent my entire life, and I’ve had my plans worked out in my mind for a long time. I’ve never once doubted my dreams until now.

I’ve been single for the last 3 years, and trying my hardest to get reassigned to another location with my job. This has been my dream for the last 10 years, but I never had a good enough opportunity to go. About a year ago, I started applying for other positions within my company, hoping to get out of here. Today, it finally paid off. I got an interview for a position in California, and I actually have a really good chance of getting it. It’s a dream come true because I know the person hiring for it, and I got some excellent recommendations from people higher up. Basically, this is the opportunity of a lifetime for me. Sounds great right??? WRONG

The problem is that about 2 months ago, I met a really great guy, and I have real feelings for him. In fact, as soon as I got the call, my thoughts instantly went to him. I haven’t met anyone I cared about in a very long time. He truly makes me happy. I am lighthearted when he’s around, and he makes every problem in my life go away when I’m with him. Now I know that seems odd, since I’ve only been seeing him for a couple months, but I don’t get feelings for people. Everyone I know calls me heartless. I dated a guy for 5 years and walked away without a second thought when he lied. I didn’t think it was even possible for me to feel anything beyond lust for another person. It absolutely threw me off, when my mind went straight to him. I actually saw myself saying goodbye, and even the thought hurt me. I don’t know what to do. My interview is Friday, and I know that if I blow this, I may not ever get this perfect chance again. I don’t want to live here, and I have shared this with the guy, and we’ve even discussed it a few times, but I didn’t expect this to happen so soon. He has a life here, and a child, I can’t just ask him to pack up and move away with me, I mean it’s not like we’ve been together for years. I am completely lost.

This is one of those life altering decisions that can impact the rest of my life depending on what I choose at this moment, and I have no idea what to do. I am calling out to the readers for suggestions. What would you do? How do you choose between the 2 things you want most out of life?

myspace.com/ms_blond_d

Event: Sweet Dreams @ Dolce

I had a great time at the event and have some pics
(of course the fuzzy out of focus ones are mine!)
Sigh.....
lol
Im working on a new camera crew and video team as we speak


for more info :

Femme Boudoir Lingerie
www.myspace.com/femmeboudoir

Am Models
www.myspace.com/amgirlspgh

Cubana Lust - Interview

she talks about giving oral, her favorite positions, and is the azz real wow................




and here is some throw back videos of her

photo shoot






we get's it crackin'

Webcam Featuring DJ TRICKY D & JADA STACKS

Event: Sweet Dreams

Yes !!!!!!
Mr Lex will be there!
Look out for pics and video from the event

for more info :

Femme Boudoir Lingerie
www.myspace.com/femmeboudoir

Am Models
www.myspace.com/amgirlspgh



,

BiWeekly Beauty #18 - Nikki "Apple Bottom" Torres

Mr Lex - Ms Nikki Apple Bottom Torres how are you? and how is everything going in your world?

Nikki - I'm doing well! Everything in my world is really amazing right now, I'm just following where the wind takes me or shall I say where God takes me.



Mr Lex - How long have you been modeling and what are some of your other accomplishments?

Nikki -I've been modeling, seriously, going on three years now. I started off as a print model for intimate apparel Beauty and Lace and its subsidiary Naughty Girls 4 Fun wear, and have since branched off to video modeling and spokes modeling. Television is where I really see my career headed, as I am currently working on a project for Showtime, as well as, being a TV Personality for "Livin The Hustle".



Mr Lex - Please keep us informed about your show and other projects when you can! Can you tell me more about "Livin the Hustle" and your role with it? and who are some other celebs you've meet being involved with this?

Nikki - I am currently the host of "Livin The Hustle" which is a series dedicated to highlighting individuals in the game (artists and celebrities) hustlin to make it or if they are already in the game, hustlin to maintain it. It brings a positive light on what goes on behind the glitz and glam of celebrities by obtaining exclusive interviews and highlighting performances of different artists. I have had the opportunity to interview the likes of: Chamillionaire, Paul Wall, Slim Thug, Wendy Day (Founder of the Rap Coalition), DJ Drama, TJ Chapman (Tj's Dj's), to politicians such as Councilman Jarvis out of Houston's B District, just to name a few.



Mr Lex - Wow you definitely are living the hustle yourself also. Ok i couldn't have let this been a official redlightsextion interview without asking you about this. Ive been to your myspace page and read some of your blogs and I had 2 ask what prompted the sex strike lol??? and would you ever try it again??

Nikki - LOL!!! Well when I posted that blog back in November of 2007, I had EVERY intention of holding out for a long time. I was tired of great sex being the reason I stayed with a particular someone when I knew they were no good for me, but the strike only lasted about two weeks because the temptation was too much for me to bear at the time. I have been on one other strike since then which lasted about 6 months, and it was actually a really good experience, so yes I would do it again as long as I can keep using my "toys" LOL.




Mr Lex - 6 months whoa. I was on a sex strike also but it just wasn't voluntarily lol but that is a whole other story. What are some reasons you think a lot of men are scared of strong independent women? What qualities would a man your interested in need to have?

Nikki - I personally think a lot of men are afraid of having to measure up to women who can do for themselves everything a man is "supposed" to do for a woman. I think independent women make a lot of men feel inferior. In general, most men like the notion of being a provider so when that is taken away from them they usually don't know how to deal; its unfortunate because most of the time what we as independent women want is someone to love us, we don't care about what you can do for us because we already got what we need on our own. For me personally, a man has to be confident because I can't stand an insecure man, a great sense of humor, and he has to have realistic dreams and ambitions.


Mr Lex - (Mr. Lex sighs..... then stops daydreaming about soaking in the Jacuzzi on his personal leer jet with his face painted on the side of it that is currently flying him to his own personal island of nothing but women that look like Nikki that will feed him grapes and steak ums) Oh well..... What are some things that keep you motivated on achieving your goals?

Nikki - Well I have two daughters that look up to me, so I have to be an example, which makes me mindful of everything that I do. They are my daily motivations to keep pushing hard until I accomplish my goals because when all is said and done, they are the ones who will reap the benefits.



Mr Lex - I seen you were working on getting in better shape and last i saw your body is looking phenomenal are you on any special diet or workout program? I've been kinda lazy lately so is there any advice you can give us couch potatoes?

Nikki - I wouldn't say I am on a diet, but I did have a lifestyle change. I realized I was sending myself to an early grave by eating fast food all the time, not working out, and eating any and everything I wanted. The reality check for me came when I saw a picture of me, and I was like, "When did I get a double chin?!", that picture is one I carry with me to this day as a constant reminder that I can never let myself get like that again. For those couch potatoes out there, I am currently working on a fitness video, with MMA trainer Duane Stevenson. However, until that comes out, I would say try to incorporate a minimum of 30 minutes of activity whether its taking a walk, swimming, or running. The key is to get your body moving. If fitness isn't something you can fit in your life at the moment then at least start making healthy eating choices. Carry an apple with you, not only are they nutritious they fill you up, and drink water its good for you inside and out. Subtle eating changes go a long way.




Mr Lex - (puts down the Pepsi and grabs diet Pepsi) Are you currently single?

Nikki - I am single, although my myspace currently says "in a relationship", I've yet to meet my knight in shining armor.


Mr Lex - What would be your ideal 1st date? What would you want to do and where would you want to go?

Nikki - I don't have an ideal 1st date because my dates are based upon the vibe I get from the other person, whereas, one guy may be suitable for a nice Italian restaurant another may be right for attending a football game. It all depends on who the date is with.


Mr Lex - Should you ever give a lover that cheated a 2nd chance? and could the relationship ever be the same if you do?

Nikki - It really boils down to trust, for me, that is an extremely hard thing to get back once its gone. The relationship can NEVER be the same because you'll always be looking over your shoulder and wondering "hmmmmm, I wonder if he/she is creepin' again".If I believed in my heart they were TRULY remorseful, then yes, I would give the cheater a second chance.

Mr Lex - Who is a star or celebrity you had a childhood crush on growing up?

Nikki - I had and still do have the BIGGEST crush on Johnny Depp. One day (sigh)....lol



Mr Lex - Mr Edward Scissorhand/Capt Jack????? hummm lol What songs have you been listening to lately? Whats on your Ipod or in your CD player?

Nikki - Soulja Boy, "Turn My Swag On" gets me going every mornin. During the day I listen to anything from Fat Pimp, "Rackdaddy", Hurricane Chris, "She Fine(Halle Berry)" to The Police and Phil Collins greatest hits. Jamie Foxx and The Dream are my bed buddies right now, they put me to bed.



Mr Lex - Jamie and the Dream are so lucky lol What is the best way for people to get in contact with you?


Nikki - To contact me email: info.welovenikki@gmail.com or hit me up on my myspace: www.myspace.com/welovenikki

Mr Lex - Is there anything else you would like to say?

Nikki - A lot of people measure their daily success by the amount of money they have or the assets they've obtained, I measure success by the random people that come up to me and tell me that I have inspired them to do better for themselves. If my life can touch just one person, then I have accomplished my goal for the day. Hopefully, this interview has inspired just one person out there to want better for their lives.

XOXO,
Nikki Apple Bottom



Thanks for your time!
Mr Lex


also check out Nikki's youtube videos she is funny!
Lol @ the end of this

SHOW MAG VIDEOS - TIARA, SUELYNN, JOANNA PENA, JESSIKAH MAXIMUS, ASHALEE AND MORE

Tahiry's King Magazine Cover (R.I.P. King Mag)

King Mags final issue !!!!!
nooooooooo
It cant be
sniffle sniffle
ima have to do a tribute post
but if your going to go out mite as well go out with a bang
with Tahiry's (Joe Buddens girl) 1st Mag cover

Culture IV - interviews slaughterhouse and Joe Buddens Girl Tahiry

I know i have been MIA for a while but ima try 2 get this going again!
Wil with Culture IV has been dropping some gems
great interviews








Lunch with Joe Budden & Tahiry Pt. 2 - Tahiry vs. Saigon

Tahiry speaks her reaction to being dragged into the Saigon's diss
track - and rappers getting their 5 minutes of fame off HER! Joe
speaks on Slaughterhouse, his NEW album (no, not Padded Room, but his
NEW new album), Royce's ImNaShitFoolTV only getting 5 views, and
nobody being able to pronounce Amalgam til he got there.

The Dating Game - Tips for the single daters

I know that there are a lot of you out there who are single this Valentine’s Day, and are playing the dating game. I decided to lend a hand to those of you who need help, and warn those of you who don’t. Dating is not as simple as it was in the past. There are more and more losers, stalkers, and crazy people out there now…ha ha.

First off, you have to get the 1st impression correct. Ladies and gentleman NEWS FLASH…9 out of 10 times, your first impression of someone is correct. If you meet someone and within 5 minutes you think to yourself…this guy or girl is an ass, just go with your gut instinct, it’s probably not going to get better the more you get to know them.

Now ladies, if you pay attention on the 1st date, you can walk away knowing most everything that you need to know about a man. Here are some things to look for, and what they usually mean.

Here are some signs that he is just looking for some ass

• a. He keeps glancing at your chest, or watches your butt when you walk away.

• b. He asks you to repeat a question more than 1 time, you are not in a loud place, and he is not wearing a hearing aid

• c. He tries to grab your waist or butt within the 1st five minutes.

• d. He asks you to come to his or your place, but hasn’t asked your last name yet.

• e. He comments on how you seem like a freak.

Here are some signs that he is too conceited.

• a. He looks at himself more than once in the car windows that he walks past.

• b. He talks about himself for more than 10 minutes straight

• c. If you go out to eat, he takes the seat looking out toward the people, which forces you to take the seat facing the wall so you can only see him

• d. He is constantly looking at other people instead of you.

Here are some signs that he is just plain trouble

• a. He doesn’t want to tell you his last name.

• b. He glares at other men who look at you.

• c. He “mentions” the type of friends that you have

• d. He asks you more than once if you live alone

• e. He brings any kind of weapon on the date

• f. He makes you walk the other way if he sees a cop

• g. He walks away from you to have a discussion with his friends

• h. He calls you more than twice, the day of the date

• i. He asks you your address of your house or job

• j. He has answered his phone more than twice, but none of the conversations are more than 2 minutes

• k. He keeps scanning the room.

• l. It is obvious to you that he is antsy or overly anxious

• m. He leads you by grabbing your arm when you walk

Now to the men…Women are much harder to read, and they will purposely make themselves appear normal, even if they are not. But if you pay attention, you can figure out that something is off. Here are some signs that women give.

Signs that she is only interested in your money

• a. She gives your outfit a full once over when you meet, from your shoes and up to your shirt

• b. She orders something expensive from the menu, then only eats a few bites

• c. She answers any question with, “well what do I get”

• d. She mentions needing to go shopping

• e. Her cell phone is cut off

• f. She mentions money more than once

• g. She keeps giggling… trust me, if you’re not Katt Williams, you are not that funny.

• h. If she looks expensive…she probably is.

• i. She doesn’t have a job, or works in fast food

Signs that she is crazy

• a. She glares at the waitress that takes your order and other women in the vicinity

• b. She crowds close and wraps around your arm in public

• c. She asks you your address of your house or job

• d. She continues to ask “who is that” when your phone rings

• e. She stares at anyone you stop to talk to

• f. She mentions “the future”

• g. She introduces you to her kids, or parents, unless she is a minor

• h. She complains about her ex’s, and you didn’t ask

• i. She compares you to someone else that she dated

Again, these are just a few of the signs, but the basic idea is, just pay attention to the person that you are with, and maybe dating will be a little easier for you.

Another mistake you want to avoid, is to assume that the date is going well. I have gone out with a few men who got a little upset when they found out that I wasn’t interested. So if you are questioning whether or not the date is going good, here are a few signs that the person you are with just isn’t that interested in you.

• a. They are paying more attention to the surroundings, instead of you.

• b. They ask you a question, and then close their eyes while you answer

• c. They answer their phone and have a conversation longer than 5 minutes, and you can tell it isn’t work

• d. They flirt with someone else

• e. They keep mentioning how early they have to get up

• f. They end the date with I’ll see you later

To sum it all up, when you are dating, just be yourself. If you give a false impression of yourself, you can’t get mad when someone doesn’t like the real you. I always think of the skit that Sommore did on the queens of comedy tour, about people needing a side effect label. In my opinion, the world would be a better place if you knew what you were getting into before you signed on the dotted line…haha



Here are a couple of the worst date stories from me and my friends. I guess we all miss some signs sometimes…haha

• Mine was a few years ago, I was set up on a blind date by one of my friend’s boyfriend. It was right after I moved to Pittsburgh, and I didn’t know much about the city. This guy came to my dorm to pick me up, and we went out to dinner. He was very attractive, and very sweet. We ate dinner and were talking for a few minutes afterwards. He asked if I was ready to leave, so that we could go to a movie. I agreed so he asked for the check, and paid the waitress. He was kind of rushing and I wasn’t sure why, but hey he was sexy so who am I to complain right. I had to use the restroom, but for some reason he asked me to wait a few minutes, which was odd as well. Right at 10pm, his phone rang. Now I am a courteous person, so I tried to walk away to give him some privacy, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me close. He said that it was his roommate, who locked himself out, and asked if we could drive there real fast and let him in. Now, it was early so I didn’t mind. We get in his car and start to drive to his house. After about 30 minutes of driving on the freeway in the middle of no where, he looks over and asks “so are you sure your ok with this?” Now mind you, I am 17 at the time and he is 24, and I had no clue what he meant, so I said sure. He smiled at me and pulled down a dark street to the front of a house. He leaned over and tried to kiss me and grab on me. I was like “what the hell are you doing, don’t we gotta let your roommate in” He said “um yea of course, but that can wait, I want to get to know you better, and leans over to start again. Now, at this point I am a little mad, so I pull away and say” so ask me something then, your not gonna learn nothing new in my pants.” He gets pissed, calls me a tease and gets out of the car. He comes around to my side, pulls me out of the car, and says walk home bitch and pulls away. He left me on the street in a random town off the freeway at night alone. I ended up calling a cab, which was horrible because I had to walk around for a half hour until I found a random bar, to ask where the hell I was at. On the plus side, the cab driver was extremely nice. He asked what happened, and listened to the whole thing. Then he apologized on behalf of men, and drove me home without charging me a penny. It was a little light at the end of the worst date I have ever had…

L from Texas writes:

• When I was in high school I liked this guy a lot and I thought he liked me too. We would talk after classes and stuff. I guess one day he got the guts to ask me out on a date. So I took one of my girl friends for girl support and he did the same thing. Well, we went to the movies had a good to time and flirted. When we went to eat afterwards, my girl-friend saw her man dining with another chick lol..Yes, there was trouble she marched over to where they were sitting at. Started bitching to her man why he hardly took her out and never did stuff for her. For some reason my date was nervous I didn’t really pay attention why because I was all into the drama stuff. Well. My girl was screaming going nuts wanting to hit the chic and her man. My girls man told her he doesn’t want to be with her, and my friend got mad.I was so embarrassed by now because people were just looking at us while I tried to calm her down. Out of nowhere she goes to him (her man). I fucked this muthafucker right here, and pointed to MY DATE!!!!! I almost choked, my date looked like he was about to pee, or cry. I was so surprised like my girls man was. I finally understood why he was so nervous. She said to her man and "He makes me scream...something your little dick never did". I was mortified. Here I was dating this hot guy I liked not knowing that they had a story behind. My date tried to give me all the excuses in the world. Needless to say, I did not want to go out with him afterwards.

R from California Writes

• I once had a guy come up to me when I was on a date with another guy and he tried to fight him in the restaurant for my time. It was ridiculous. Needless to say, I went home alone that night. I also had a guy ask me every 5 min how he looked and if I thought he was pretty.

D from Pittsburgh Writes

• I was on a date with this chic, and we decided to go out to a restaurant and have some drinks. So we get there and order drinks and dinner. We’re eating and apparently her ex walked in with her now boyfriend. She pointed him out to me and started telling me all about what a jerk he was and how she can’t stand him anymore. While she’s complaining the whole time, she is sucking down drink after drink. After about the 3rd drink she is obviously drunk, and very upset. I decided to take her home. As we are walking out, she starts to cry and saying she wants to go home. So, we get in my car and I drive her toward her house, and she is still complaining about him. All the sudden she rolls down the window and throws up all over the side of my car. Then she starts crying again. I finally get to her house and she looks over at me and says ”I’m so sorry about tonight, but don’t worry the next date will be better.” I just stared at her like she was nuts and mumbled uh huh. I had to stop at the car wash on the way home. I planned on never talking to her again, but she called me like 30 times the next day. I got tired of it so I had my sister answer the phone and say that she was my girlfriend and to stop calling her man. I’d hate to be the next guy she dated, I am sure he heard all about it…haha

So I hope this helps some of you single people. If you have any comments, dating horror stories, or any more signs to look out for, please feel free to share them.

myspace.com/ms_blond_d