Today has to be one of the most confusing days I have ever had. It can only be described as the best, and the worst day of my life. I have had 2 dreams my entire life, to be happy and have a family of my own, and to get out of this state. Now I have been very independent my entire life, and I’ve had my plans worked out in my mind for a long time. I’ve never once doubted my dreams until now.
I’ve been single for the last 3 years, and trying my hardest to get reassigned to another location with my job. This has been my dream for the last 10 years, but I never had a good enough opportunity to go. About a year ago, I started applying for other positions within my company, hoping to get out of here. Today, it finally paid off. I got an interview for a position in California, and I actually have a really good chance of getting it. It’s a dream come true because I know the person hiring for it, and I got some excellent recommendations from people higher up. Basically, this is the opportunity of a lifetime for me. Sounds great right??? WRONG
The problem is that about 2 months ago, I met a really great guy, and I have real feelings for him. In fact, as soon as I got the call, my thoughts instantly went to him. I haven’t met anyone I cared about in a very long time. He truly makes me happy. I am lighthearted when he’s around, and he makes every problem in my life go away when I’m with him. Now I know that seems odd, since I’ve only been seeing him for a couple months, but I don’t get feelings for people. Everyone I know calls me heartless. I dated a guy for 5 years and walked away without a second thought when he lied. I didn’t think it was even possible for me to feel anything beyond lust for another person. It absolutely threw me off, when my mind went straight to him. I actually saw myself saying goodbye, and even the thought hurt me. I don’t know what to do. My interview is Friday, and I know that if I blow this, I may not ever get this perfect chance again. I don’t want to live here, and I have shared this with the guy, and we’ve even discussed it a few times, but I didn’t expect this to happen so soon. He has a life here, and a child, I can’t just ask him to pack up and move away with me, I mean it’s not like we’ve been together for years. I am completely lost.
This is one of those life altering decisions that can impact the rest of my life depending on what I choose at this moment, and I have no idea what to do. I am calling out to the readers for suggestions. What would you do? How do you choose between the 2 things you want most out of life?