Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dear Diary...HELP

Dear Diary,

Today has to be one of the most confusing days I have ever had. It can only be described as the best, and the worst day of my life. I have had 2 dreams my entire life, to be happy and have a family of my own, and to get out of this state. Now I have been very independent my entire life, and I’ve had my plans worked out in my mind for a long time. I’ve never once doubted my dreams until now.

I’ve been single for the last 3 years, and trying my hardest to get reassigned to another location with my job. This has been my dream for the last 10 years, but I never had a good enough opportunity to go. About a year ago, I started applying for other positions within my company, hoping to get out of here. Today, it finally paid off. I got an interview for a position in California, and I actually have a really good chance of getting it. It’s a dream come true because I know the person hiring for it, and I got some excellent recommendations from people higher up. Basically, this is the opportunity of a lifetime for me. Sounds great right??? WRONG

The problem is that about 2 months ago, I met a really great guy, and I have real feelings for him. In fact, as soon as I got the call, my thoughts instantly went to him. I haven’t met anyone I cared about in a very long time. He truly makes me happy. I am lighthearted when he’s around, and he makes every problem in my life go away when I’m with him. Now I know that seems odd, since I’ve only been seeing him for a couple months, but I don’t get feelings for people. Everyone I know calls me heartless. I dated a guy for 5 years and walked away without a second thought when he lied. I didn’t think it was even possible for me to feel anything beyond lust for another person. It absolutely threw me off, when my mind went straight to him. I actually saw myself saying goodbye, and even the thought hurt me. I don’t know what to do. My interview is Friday, and I know that if I blow this, I may not ever get this perfect chance again. I don’t want to live here, and I have shared this with the guy, and we’ve even discussed it a few times, but I didn’t expect this to happen so soon. He has a life here, and a child, I can’t just ask him to pack up and move away with me, I mean it’s not like we’ve been together for years. I am completely lost.

This is one of those life altering decisions that can impact the rest of my life depending on what I choose at this moment, and I have no idea what to do. I am calling out to the readers for suggestions. What would you do? How do you choose between the 2 things you want most out of life?

myspace.com/ms_blond_d

5 comments:

chad a.k.a. mrniceguy said...

WOW! You should go for the job! I'm sure that you will find someone else in the long run. I know you want this guy because he makes you happy...but if I were in your position...I would go for the job. The way this economy is now...you better get what you can get. This job opportunity that you have been blessed with will end up going to someone else...if you don't take ahold of it.

Mr. Lex said...

hummmm
Yea i would have to agree with chad above me ! Take the job! It sounds like a great opportunity and you never know when it may come again, and you said you only have been talking to him for 2 months thats not very long! plus you never know if you got situated in your new location things mite change for him in time and maybe he would be able to come out there (if either one of you were not in a serious relationship) i just know how my thought process is I expect the worse so if he is a good dude like u say im sure he would feel bad if something went wrong in the relationship or u never got another chance to move out there again.

and i know how you ladies can get the poor guy may never hear the end of it
"I gave up my job and he wont even take out the trash"

lol

Ms. Blond-D said...

Haha, I hear what the both of you are saying. I personally don't feel like this is my last chace at a position. Not to brag, but I am great at what I do, and I anticipate more opportunities. Now as far as the guy, I am fully aware that there are "plenty of fish in the sea," but he is different. I don't connect with people easily, I am more or less a loner, and to be honest, I am suprised that we connected at all. On a side note, I am not much of the bitching type...unless the guy is completely useless...haha. I am not the type to take a choice that I made, and throw it in anyones face, my choices are mine, whether they are great or really bad choices. I don't really blame people for my problems. I just don't know which one I want more. Now to be honest, if it was still winter, I probably wouldn't have thought twice and I would be gone, but since it's warmer, I feel I could hold off, so I am stuck with a choice that I don't want to make.

Anonymous said...

I would not refuse the Job unless he was really serious like wanted to move in with you wanted to marry you and if none of that is happening then you should you go (not saying he should propose just yet lol)but if he aint that serious then you should leave and keep in touch you can always make the effort to come and visit him vice versa and if the distance between the both of you is unbearable and you really want to be together then you can both sort out the living arrangements from there its simple ur career is ur foundation and without a solid foundation there is no life love life or should I say succesful life once thats sorted everything else falls into place xxx

Anonymous said...

GIRL IF YOU DONT ACT LIKE YOU GOT AN OUNCE OF SENSE & GO GET THAT DAMN JOB I WILL FLY TO WHERE U ARE & SHAKE YOU!!!! :-) lol ... LOVE? Especially a so-called "new" "LOVE"??? That's an oximoron! ---It's not real love if it hasn't been tested! Thru the hardest test= the test of time. So, in the mean time...while you are, in effect, doing nothing more than 'getting to know each other better' ...you are letting an excellent opportunity pass you by.... IN THIS HARD TIGHT PISS POOR ECONOMY???? GIRL---Unless you & baby have been so "in love" you haven't been reading the newspapers... we are in the grips of the most major RECCESSION since the GREAT DEPRESSION!!!! .... So excuse my language ( I am a Child of God) But A 'NICCA' VERSUS A JOB??? GIRL PUH-LEEZE! TAKE THE JOB --HANDS DOWN....NO QUESTION!!!!!! Throw me a hard question next time mama! & Best of luck on your new career--- p.s. If you need a College Degree to make yourself even more marketable...Holla at me---I work for a Major fully Accreditated University. I'd love to enroll ya! or anyone else you think may need to pursue more education.. I am Angie Hall 773-759-9293.thanx! Peace.

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