I know that there are a lot of you out there who are single this Valentine’s Day, and are playing the dating game. I decided to lend a hand to those of you who need help, and warn those of you who don’t. Dating is not as simple as it was in the past. There are more and more losers, stalkers, and crazy people out there now…ha ha.
First off, you have to get the 1st impression correct. Ladies and gentleman NEWS FLASH…9 out of 10 times, your first impression of someone is correct. If you meet someone and within 5 minutes you think to yourself…this guy or girl is an ass, just go with your gut instinct, it’s probably not going to get better the more you get to know them.
Now ladies, if you pay attention on the 1st date, you can walk away knowing most everything that you need to know about a man. Here are some things to look for, and what they usually mean.
Here are some signs that he is just looking for some ass- a. He keeps glancing at your chest, or watches your butt when you walk away.
- b. He asks you to repeat a question more than 1 time, you are not in a loud place, and he is not wearing a hearing aid
- c. He tries to grab your waist or butt within the 1st five minutes.
- d. He asks you to come to his or your place, but hasn’t asked your last name yet.
- e. He comments on how you seem like a freak.
Here are some signs that he is too conceited.- a. He looks at himself more than once in the car windows that he walks past.
- b. He talks about himself for more than 10 minutes straight
- c. If you go out to eat, he takes the seat looking out toward the people, which forces you to take the seat facing the wall so you can only see him
- d. He is constantly looking at other people instead of you.
Here are some signs that he is just plain trouble
- a. He doesn’t want to tell you his last name.
- b. He glares at other men who look at you.
- c. He “mentions” the type of friends that you have
- d. He asks you more than once if you live alone
- e. He brings any kind of weapon on the date
- f. He makes you walk the other way if he sees a cop
- g. He walks away from you to have a discussion with his friends
- h. He calls you more than twice, the day of the date
- i. He asks you your address of your house or job
- j. He has answered his phone more than twice, but none of the conversations are more than 2 minutes
- k. He keeps scanning the room.
- l. It is obvious to you that he is antsy or overly anxious
- m. He leads you by grabbing your arm when you walk
Now to the men…Women are much harder to read, and they will purposely make themselves appear normal, even if they are not. But if you pay attention, you can figure out that something is off. Here are some signs that women give.
Signs that she is only interested in your money- a. She gives your outfit a full once over when you meet, from your shoes and up to your shirt
- b. She orders something expensive from the menu, then only eats a few bites
- c. She answers any question with, “well what do I get”
- d. She mentions needing to go shopping
- e. Her cell phone is cut off
- f. She mentions money more than once
- g. She keeps giggling… trust me, if you’re not Katt Williams, you are not that funny.
- h. If she looks expensive…she probably is.
- i. She doesn’t have a job, or works in fast food
Signs that she is crazy- a. She glares at the waitress that takes your order and other women in the vicinity
- b. She crowds close and wraps around your arm in public
- c. She asks you your address of your house or job
- d. She continues to ask “who is that” when your phone rings
- e. She stares at anyone you stop to talk to
- f. She mentions “the future”
- g. She introduces you to her kids, or parents, unless she is a minor
- h. She complains about her ex’s, and you didn’t ask
- i. She compares you to someone else that she dated
Again, these are just a few of the signs, but the basic idea is, just pay attention to the person that you are with, and maybe dating will be a little easier for you.
Another mistake you want to avoid, is to assume that the date is going well. I have gone out with a few men who got a little upset when they found out that I wasn’t interested. So if you are questioning whether or not the date is going good, here are a few signs that the person you are with just isn’t that interested in you.
- a. They are paying more attention to the surroundings, instead of you.
- b. They ask you a question, and then close their eyes while you answer
- c. They answer their phone and have a conversation longer than 5 minutes, and you can tell it isn’t work
- d. They flirt with someone else
- e. They keep mentioning how early they have to get up
- f. They end the date with I’ll see you later
To sum it all up, when you are dating, just be yourself. If you give a false impression of yourself, you can’t get mad when someone doesn’t like the real you. I always think of the skit that Sommore did on the queens of comedy tour, about people needing a side effect label. In my opinion, the world would be a better place if you knew what you were getting into before you signed on the dotted line…haha
Posts
