One of the things that I just don’t get, is how stupid people really are. Now, I am generally tolerant of a lot of things, but stupidity is not one of them. Lets take athletes for example. These are men who have it made. They make millions and millions of dollars for their athletic abilities. They don’t even really have to play very long. For these millions and millions of dollars, all they have to do is play their game, stay out of trouble, and be a public figure for a few years. This sounds pretty simple right? It seems like the only real issue would be avoiding injury right? Apparently it’s not. So here is my list of the top 5 dumbest NFL players.
#5 Chris Henry
Now this guy could’ve had a promising career in the NFL. The problem was that he just couldn’t handle it. He was in basically nonstop trouble from before he was signed on. As a sophomore at WVU he was kicked out of a game for unsportsmanlike conduct and was suspended for the season finale against the University of Pittsburgh. So why not give him a deal in the NFL right? In 2005 he was pulled over for speeding and was caught with drugs in is shoe, and driving without a license. In January 2006 Henry was arrested in Orlando, Florida for multiple gun charges including concealment and aggravated assault with a firearm. Then in May, he was questioned regarding a sex crime, and in June he got caught in a DUI. Then in October he was suspended by the NFL for two games for violating the league's personal conduct and substance abuse policies. 2007 wasn’t any better. In April Chris was suspended for the first eight games of the 2007 NFL season for violations of the NFL's personal conduct policy. In June and November he was arrested twice for assault. The first was for beating up a 16 year old boy, and the second for a valet attendant. Then in December, he was arrested again for violation of his probation. In 2008 he was arrested again for assault, and the Bengals waived him. Unfortunately, they must not have really learned a lesson, since they decided to resign him to a 2 year contract in August of 2008. I guess this story isn’t over, and I can’t wait to hear about all the new troubles he can get into.
# 4 Plaxico Burress
Now this guy is your run of the mill everyday Jackass, and I know this because of a personal run-in with him when he was still in Pittsburgh. This guy is a bit of a bitch as well, and has been mostly a headache in his career. I won’t even discuss the amount of trouble he got himself into with the Steelers, and even in college. Since he joined the giants, he has already been suspended and fined around 50 times since 2005, coincidently, that is also around the number of games he has played. Then in 2008 he refused to participate at camp because he didn’t feel he got paid enough. He did attend, but sat it out claiming that his ankle was injured. Then in Nov of 2008 he decided to go to a club, and tuck his unlicensed gun into his sweatpants. Real smart huh? It slid down his leg, and as he was fumbling with the gun, it went off and shot him in the thigh. He later turned himself into police to face the handgun charges. He was also suspended for the remainder of the season and faced more fines, plus the loss of his bonus and pay for the rest of the season. He is scheduled for court in March for the charges, but has not lost his career yet. However, if the Giant’s have half a brain, he won’t be returning next year. Even though he won the super bowl, he is way more trouble then he is worth.
#3 Adam Bernard “Pacman” Jones
Now in reality, this guy should be higher on the list, except he must have an angel on his side, because he can still play in the NFL. This guy has a nice long list of trouble that he has been in. He was arrested in 2005 for assault and vandalism. In August 2006, he was arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication, and got cited in October for misdemeanor assault for spitting in the face of a female student. The big story was the altercation and shooting in Vegas in 2007. He was charged with one count of felony coercion as well as one misdemeanor count of battery and one misdemeanor count of threat to life, and Jones pleaded no contest to one charge of conspiracy to commit disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. He was given a suspended prison sentence of one year, probation, and ordered to perform 200 hours of community service. In April he was suspended for the rest of the 2007 season. While on suspension he managed to stay in trouble. He was accused of hitting a woman at a strip club in Atlanta and then violated the league's personal conduct policy by being involved in an alcohol-related scuffle with one of his bodyguards at a private party in Dallas on Oct. 7. He finally returned for the Pittsburgh game but ended up hurt. He is scheduled to return for the next game against Baltimore. On the plus side, it must be nice for him to actually be out of the game and not be in jail. Honestly, I have no idea why this jerk is allowed to continue to be a figure that young kids can look up to.
#2 Michael Dwayne Vick
Now I really hate adding Mike to this list because I am a falcons fan, and I love Michael Vick, but damn if he didn’t pull some dumb shit. Now, Vick has been in trouble for a while. In 2004 he got into some trouble with the law, when 2 men were arrested for dealing drugs from Vick’s truck, then again for theft at Hartsfield International Airport. In 2005 he was sued for giving some female and STD. In 2006 he was fined 10,000$ for flipping off some people who booed at him. Then in 2007 he lost his damn mind. He started off with a water bottle with a hidden compartment, and I am sure that everyone knows the story of how Vick and three other men were charged by federal authorities with felony charges of operating an unlawful six-year long interstate dog fighting venture known as "Bad Newz Kennels" at Vick's 15-acre property in Surry County, Virginia. Vick was accused of financing the operation, directly participating in dog fights and executions, and personally handling thousands of dollars in related gambling activities. Then while free on bail, he failed a drug test. On December 10, Vick was sentenced to 23 months in federal prison. The fines became ridiculous, and on July 7, 2008, Vick sought Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Newport News after failing to "work out consensual resolutions with each of his creditors," according to court papers. The initial filing, which was incomplete, listed assets of less than $50 million and debt of $10 million to $50 million.
#1 Orenthel James “O.J.” Simpson
Now I know that ya’ll know the story of O.J. Simpson. In 1989, Simpson plead no contest to a domestic violence charge and was separated from Nicole Brown, to whom he was paying child support. On June 12, 1994 Brown and her friend Ronald Goldman were found dead outside Brown's condominium. Simpson was charged with their murders. Unfortunately, "the trial of the century," ended on October 3, 1995 in a jury verdict of not guilty for the two murders. A lot of people were outraged by the verdict. Now on the plus side, on February 5, 1997 a civil jury unanimously found Simpson liable for the wrongful death of and battery against Goldman, and Brown, and he was ordered to pay $33,500,000 in damages.
Now you would think that after all this he would have learned a lesson right….WRONG. In September 2007, a group of men led by Simpson entered a room at the Palace Station hotel-casino and took sports memorabilia at gunpoint. Simpson admitted to taking the items, which he said had been stolen from him, but denied breaking into the hotel room; he also denied that he or anyone else carried a gun. He was released after questioning, but arrested 2 days later. This time, court didn’t go so well. On October 3rd, he was found guilty, and on December 5, Simpson was sentenced to a total of 33 years in prison with the possibility of parole in about 9 years. I say good riddance to the idiot, and hopefully we won’t have to hear any more about him.
So to all the athletes out there, take some time to really look at how good you got it compared to the rest of us. Get a grip on reality, realize that you are not above the law, and stop doing stupid shit. That's a really great way to lose all you have worked for. Let me know who would have made your top lists.